"Hurt people hurt people." That was one of the first principles I learned in my training as a counselor. It is true that when some people are wounded they lash out at others out of their own pain or fear of being hurt again. Understanding that can be helpful in understanding the perspective of the hurting person, but that knowledge alone still may not help us to respond appropriately to the pain that has been inflicted on us by a hurting person. What do you do when you get hurt by a hurting person? That is a question that has presented itself in various forms in Deep Waters this past month. I'm going to share with you lessons God taught me about pain that I had to personally draw from this month.

Pain points you to your purpose. A favorite verse that is often quoted is Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." We are anxious to claim the "work together for good" portion of the verse, but we may be hesitant to claim the "all things" if it includes pain... and it does. Have you ever noticed that when pain is responded to in a productive manner great things happen? For example, would there be a Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) if some mother had not experienced the pain of losing her child to a drunk driver? Probably not. But that mother realized some purpose in the pain she went through.

God does not cause all things, but the believer has the assurance that if God has allowed it—whatever the 'it' might be—there is purpose in it. God's purpose is always greater than the pain in our lives. Also as believers, we have the assurance that we are "the called." If we want to claim the promise in this verse, when we experience pain in our lives, our primary response should be to "love God!" God spells love O-B-E-Y. We demonstrate our love for God by doing what He says. If we make a commitment to love God (i.e. do what His word says) in spite of our pain, then God will work our pain into His purpose for our lives and cause something good to come from it.

Pain perpetuates your passion. One of the most powerful tools in our arsenal is that of identification. When someone is dealing with a particular kind of pain, the most powerful witness and encouragement can come from someone who has gone through and overcome that same kind of pain. When I was nearing the delivery of my son I wanted to hear encouragement from other women who had gone through that pain because I knew they could identify with me. We feel most for those, and are encouraged most by those with whom we can identify. God encourages us not only so we can be encouraged, but He also expects us to encourage someone else the way we have been encouraged. The area of our pain is the very area that God will use to ignite a passion within us to minister to someone else. Realizing that everything you go through can be used to help someone else get through can empower you to deal with your own pain.

Pain personalizes your praise. Many of us have been taught that when we worship God, we do so based on who He is. And when we praise God, we do so based on what He has done. But, many of us are praising God based on someone else's testimony. Until your heart has been broken, you will not be able to personally praise Him for binding up the brokenhearted. Until you have lost a loved one, you will not be able to personally praise Him for comforting you and giving you peace. Until your sick body has been healed, you will not be able to personally praise Him for raising you up. You have not reached the potential of your praise until you've given God an in spite of praise. God wants us not only to praise Him based on what we've heard He can do, but on what we know He has done based on our personal experience with Him.

Should pain be ignored just because we know how God can use pain in our lives? Absolutely not. Pain is an indicator that something needs attention. Some pain is completely removed using the appropriate treatment; other pain may not ever completely go away, but it can be managed. Pain is not a cause; it is a symptom. Take the time to find out what is causing your pain and the appropriate way(s) to address the cause. Don't be in a hurry to numb the pain without determining the cause. Just because you have anesthetized the pain does not mean that it's not still there. More importantly, the root of what is causing the pain is still there. Until you get the proper treatment for your pain, you will minimize your potential to heal and to help someone else.

God has used the pain in my life to move me towards my purpose of becoming a teacher, a writer and a counselor. He has used my pain to ignite a passion within me to help people make better relationship decisions and to be able to identify with those who are going through what I've been through. God's response to my pain has given me many things that I can now personally praise Him for. The pain God helped me to overcome inspired me to write the book Though The Vision Tarry. But did you know that you are also working on a book? You are a living book that is seen and read by others, and pain is the ink that God uses to write on the pages of your life. God wants the world to see that in spite of and even because of your pain, your life has purpose, passion and praise. So, when you're going through pain in your life, remind yourself (as I have had to do this past month) that this is material for your book.

Aleathea Dupree is the author of Though The Vision Tarry: Waiting For My Promised Mate and the Administrator of the Deep Waters website/forum. Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved. For permission to reprint, please contact: administrator@deepwaters.info.

THOUGH THE VISION TARRY
by Aleathea Dupree

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