Cheer Up Your Wife: A DIY Biblical Guide is now available in paperback and Kindle!
Women: use this book to learn how God expects you to be treated as a wife.
Men: use this book to equip yourself for what God requires of you as a husband. It contains the tools you need to fix or prevent the problem of an unhappy wife and to confidently carry out the biblical mandate, "cheer up your wife" (Deuteronomy 24:5).
From back cover: Men are problem solvers. When a man encounters a problem with something that is of value to him, he will get whatever tools or resources necessary and do his best to fix what's broken or needs maintenance. If the problem is an unhappy wife, though his relationship with her is something he values, he may not know which tools or resources to use to tackle the problem. As a matter of fact, he cannot fix the problem until he understands the heart of his wife. Wives actually do come with care instructions, but those instructions are written on their hearts. If a man is unable to interpret those instructions, he could end up with a very unhappy wife. Just as it takes a man to help a woman understand the heart of a man, it takes a woman to give a man the kind of insight that will help him to understand the heart of his wife. This book gives a husband or a husband-to-be insight into what could make his wife unhappy, and places in his hands tools that will enable him to fix the problem or prevent it from happening so that he can confidently carry out the biblical mandate, "cheer up your wife" (Deuteronomy 24:5).
Here's what readers are saying:
The men are saying:
"I have read MANY marriage books & must say I have already learned more from your book in four chapters than I have in ANY other book."
"I can't describe how POWERFUL this book is! I stopped watching basketball to keep reading it."
"I don't know if it's hitting home because it's coming from a woman or what but it's starting to make sense now!"
"My marriage was not in a terrible place but this book shows you the "little things" that many men overlook concerning their marriage/relationships..."
"I recommend this for those who are considering marriage or a serious relationship as a way to prevent mistakes that many couples encounter. If you're a real man who is about building a happy and blessed home then there is no option but to add this great literature to your library."
The women are saying:
"My husband starting reading this book and over the time that he read the book, I saw a transformation in how he thought about me and our child. It is amazing how these words helped him see some things that we had discussed at length before."
"I purchased a copy of this book for myself and as soon as the book was delivered my husband immediately began reading. I immediately began to see changes in him. It was amazing! My husband had previously been married twice and really did not understand how to be married and how to deal with a wife. When he read this book it's like his eyes were opened."
"I've never seen or heard of anyone approach marriage issues from this perspective before! It's fresh, insightful and very powerful. In less than a hundred pages of actual content, every major marital issue has been thoroughly covered. Each chapter is like a self-contained pre-marital or marital counseling session."
"I strongly encourage all of my married friends to order a book. It will truly change your marriage for the better. Even if you're not married, it will show you how to treat a woman if you're a man and what to look for in a man if you're a woman."
Singles are saying:
"Cheer Up Your Wife: A DIY Biblical Guide is good advice for singles too. Aleathea Dupree gives some keys to success in cultivating a core foundation of roles in marriage. Learn and get insight before marriage so that you can have a great marriage."
When A Husband Lies
Written by Aleathea Dupree, Copyright © All Rights Reserved.
The most obvious meaning of a lie is something that is not true: a false statement deliberately presented as being true. But a lie is not so simplistic: it penetrates to a level deeper than simple falsehood. To lie is to breach the confidence and trust of another; it is an act of infidelity. A lie is intent to deceive; it is a treacherous act.
You can lie with your words and you can lie without speaking a word. When a husband leads his wife to believe that he is in one place and knows that he has made plans to be somewhere else and has not disclosed those plans to her, he has lied: he has intentionally deceived her. When a husband has taken on the responsibility of paying the bills and the wife later discovers that they are delinquent, he has lied: he has betrayed her trust. When a husband does not tell his wife the truth about this, that or the other (or him, her or whomever) because he "knows how she will react," he has lied: he has willfully withheld the truth.
In scripture, very strong language is used to describe how God feels about lying: it is described as an abomination and detestable. What does that mean in plain language? It means that God hates lying; He regards it with horror; He finds it utterly and completely repulsive and disgusting. If God feels that way about lying, shouldn't we?
Why did these husbands lie? In each instance there were three common denominators: fear, arrogance, and selfishness. Fear says, I will lie because I'm afraid of the consequence of telling the truth. A lie is a cowardly way of dealing with, or not dealing with an issue. Lying because you're afraid of a presumed consequence is foolish because the repercussion of a lie is worse than the consequence you thought you were avoiding. Arrogance says, I will lie because I should not have to deal with the consequence of telling the truth. When a husband lies to his wife he is in effect saying that she is not worthy of being told the truth. Selfishness says, I will lie because the consequence of telling the truth may get in the way of what I want to do. Lying to your wife is a blatant disregard of God's mandate to put the needs and interests of your wife above your own.
When a husband lies to his wife he loses three things: trust, security and respect. Trust is built on truth. When a husband consistently does the good and right things that he says he will do, he will gain or regain his wife's trust. Speaking the truth is one of the most loving things we can do in marriage. When a husband lies, his word loses weight and the weight of a man's word anchors his integrity. When a husband lies, his wife is no longer sure that his yes means yes and his no means no. Now she questions what he says. His lie has sown seeds of doubt in the marriage and the fruit of doubt is distrust. God requires the wife to forgive her husband for lying to her, but God does not require her to trust him. Trust is earned, and it is earned by a consistent commitment to being truthful over time.
A husband is supposed to be the loving leader of his wife, but when a husband lies to his wife he is misleading her making it difficult for her to follow his leadership. She no longer feels safe because the one who has been set in place for her protection has caused her to feel vulnerable and made a fool of. The husband will reap the fear he has sown through the insecurity his lie has cultivated within his wife.
I believe that every husband wants to be his wife's hero. He wants to stand tall in her eyes; he wants her respect. But if through a lie he has shown her no consideration, it will be difficult for her to show him consideration. If through a lie he has not esteemed her, it will be difficult for her to esteem him. A lie is one of the most disrespectful things a husband can do to his wife, and as he robs her of respect by lying to her, he will rob himself of her respect.
We do reap what we sow. When a husband lies he sows distrust, disrespect, and insecurity into his marriage, and he will surely reap it. When a husband lies to his wife he is acting treacherously towards her. God says when a husband acts treacherously towards his wife, He won't regard that husband or readily accept anything from him. If God won't, it's likely the wife won't either. Husbands, if you want your wife to trust you, don't lie to her. If you want your wife to follow you, don't mislead her. If you want your wife to respect you, honor her enough to tell her the truth. It is a big deal.
Aleathea Dupree is the author of Though The Vision Tarry: Waiting For My Promised Mate and the Administrator of the Deep Waters website/forum. Copyright © 2005. All Rights Reserved. For permission to reprint, please contact the author.