Introduction

Written by Aleathea Dupree, Copyright © 2010. All Rights Reserved.

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. - Deuteronomy 24:5 (New International Version)

It is said that it takes only twenty-one days to form a habit. If this is true, imagine what three hundred and sixty-five days of concentrated effort would do. Suppose every husband made a commitment to invest or re-invest one entire year in his marriage, and for each day of that year to do just one meaningful thing that would make his wife happy. Do you know what would happen? Our marriages would be restored, refreshed, and revolutionized!

God — the Creator of marriage, the One who wrote the marital guidelines, and the only One who knows everything about everything — has said that the happiness of the wife, particularly a new wife, should be the priority of every husband. This was not a suggestion from God: it was a mandate. From the moment He said to do it, it became possible to accomplish. The fact that there so many disappointed, disgruntled, dissatisfied, and just plain unhappy wives is an indication that there are husbands who are either ignorant of this mandate and the significance of it, or they are ignoring it, or they have forgotten it.

Of course, in our day and time, there are not many husbands who are able to take a year off from work and other duties to stay at home just to cheer up their wives, but that is not the point. The point is that in the heart and mind of God, the happiness of the wife is a foundational priority of the marriage. There is something that God is expecting to see established in each marriage. He wants to see a reflection of Himself and His relationship with us, and the happiness of the wife is His gauge for measuring whether or not that expectation has been realized. In other words, when God wants to know what's going on in the marriage, He looks at the wife. She is the heart and true reflection of what is really going on in the marriage.

If cheering up a wife is that important to God that He would instruct a husband to focus one entire year doing just that, it should be that important to us. Only the most spectacular harvest would require such an investment of time and precious seed. Only the most magnificent of structures would require an entire year just to lay a foundation. Such effort is intended to produce the most abundant and glorious results, and such results is what God intends for our marriages. St. Augustine said, "The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation." Laying a good, solid, deep foundation in marriage takes time and effort, but it is time and effort well spent.

Perhaps there are some husbands who are reading this and thinking, “Well, what about the husband's happiness?” I assure you that God is absolutely concerned about your happiness, but, if you feel the need to ask such a question, you may already have an unhappy wife. If that is the case, because you are the designated leader in your marriage, you may find that you are probably not very happy yourself. The state or conditions you lead your wife into will be the state or conditions in which you find yourself. You cannot lead your wife into happiness and not get there yourself. Therefore, the desire for your wife's happiness should motivate you, not offend you. No husband who desires to walk in obedience to God wants an unhappy wife, and no wife who desires to walk in obedience to God wants a frustrated man who feels like he's failing as a husband.

If you are a wife who is disappointed, disgruntled, dissatisfied, and just plain unhappy, hope is on the way! If you are a husband married to such a wife, help is on the way! If you are single desirous of marriage, or already married and don't want to end up in either of the above categories, pay attention! This book is an encouragement, and a challenge, and a call to commitment to lay, repair, and strengthen the foundations of our marriages by looking at practical ways to carry out God’s mandate to "cheer up your wife!"

Read Chapter 1: God's Dowry

Written by Aleathea Dupree, Copyright © 2010. All Rights Reserved.